Battle of the Zzzzs... (16 months)

I like my sleep. (who doesn’t?!) I’m a worrier. (natural for a new mom, right?) And I love to snuggle. So, for the convenience, peace of mind, and just sheer joy of it, for the first 10 months of Kylie’s life, we co-slept. And it was beautiful.


Around 10 months, though, co-sleeping began to become, well, less than enjoyable. Kylie moved around a lot, and I think she kept waking through the night out of habit from night nursing. She always needed help falling back asleep. Sometimes, I would have to get up and walk her around. None of us were getting any quality sleep.


As Dr. Sears says, “If you resent it, change it.” (Dr. Sears is my go-to resource because his parenting style resonates so deeply with my own.) We tried introducing Kylie to her crib. But really, if you’re a little baby, (heck – even an adult) wouldn’t you rather be snuggled next to a warm body rather than sleep in a big, lonely crib? But we were starting to crave some nighttime independence and thought Kylie would sleep better, too, if she didn’t have the milk maid sleeping next to her. And eventually, we were able to get Kylie to sleep the first 2 or 3 hours in her crib. But when she woke, she’d refuse to go back in her crib. So, in order to help my husband get some quality sleep, Kylie & I began to take over the guest bed and let Da-Da have our bed. Although Kylie continued to wake a couple times through the night, it didn’t bother me as much since I had the luxury of taking a nap with Kylie during the day -- one luxury that I indulged at most every opportunity. And since Kylie also wouldn’t nap in her crib, it was almost necessary anyway. Rather than fight it, I chose to embrace it and consider it forced down time and some good snuggle time with my sweet baby. As my own mom says, “Treasure these moments. All too soon she’ll be grown up and nap times together will be a thing of the past.” (I love the way my mom raised us and I hope to do as good a job with Kylie)


A quick note here about my parenting philosophy, because I think a lot of moms and others will think that Kylie was manipulating us or that we shouldn’t have given in to her sleeping whims. Well, I say “you can’t spoil a child with love.” And if Kylie’s crying at night was indeed an attempt to get Mommy or Daddy’s attention, well, then she obviously needed it. For whatever reason. And my job is to make sure she knows that she is heard and that Mommy or Daddy will always respond to her needs. This will help her be a more trusting and open individual, and know that she will always be loved and safe.


Well, right around 16 months, in a coaching session with my own life coach, I was voicing some frustration at having such low energy and not enough to put into my business or even anything more than just taking care of Kylie. Anything else was just too much. But I so badly wanted my own coaching practice to start taking off… and my coach asked me what I need – sleep! And she said, do you know how you can get it? Yes! There was a loving method of helping Kylie learn to sleep in her crib, she would know Mommy and Daddy are always there, and she would learn to fall back to sleep on her own with that comfort. All it would require was about a week of sleeping on the floor of her room. And when my coach asked if one week of discomfort would be worth a lifetime of good sleep habits for Kylie, accomplished in a loving and supportive environment – I couldn’t help but feel excited and encouraged to get started.


My husband was a champ – he’s always been involved with everything in raising Kylie. He jumped right in there and took the weekend shift. And we did it! For a week, we were uncomfortable, and sleep deprived, but no more than usual. And Kylie would wake and immediately hear our voice saying “shhhh. It’s ok. We’re here. It’s sleepy-time. We’ll see you in the morning.” Sometimes she would fuss and we’d pick her up for a few minutes, but we’d lay her back down when she stopped. It gave her the message that we’re here to help when you need it. And by the end of the week, our little angel was sleeping through the night! That’s right! She now goes to bed around 8:30 pm and doesn’t wake us until around 6 am! At that point, I don’t mind pulling her into bed for that last hour for a little snuggle. We both enjoy it. And we all wake up happy and refreshed!!!


We knew it would come to that week of working through it with Kylie, but if it hadn’t been for my coaching session, it could’ve happened weeks, maybe even months later. Thanks to coaching, we were motivated and encouraged to make it happen (for all of us) sooner and for the better.


OH! And the best news? This great new sleep trend has Kylie taking naps in her crib now, too!!!!