Taking it "Snow"

Saturday morning, Matt & I were so excited to show Kylie all the snow.  The Blizzard of 2009 they called it on the news, and it was just getting started.  We came downstairs with Kylie and threw open the curtains.  Kylie was in awe of the sight.  In her own words "Wow!  It's snow!  It's amazing!"

It continued to snow all day long, up until maybe 11 pm or so.  We ended up with 17 or 18 inches.  The weather kept us home all weekend, but we didn't mind.  It almost seemed like God was telling us to slow down and savor this moment, this age of wonderment, and the spirit of the holidays.  We built fires, drank hot chocolate, watched Elmo's Christmas Countdown (for the billionth time), and played lots.  We thoroughly enjoyed every minute of being snowed in.

Sunday came and the snow stopped falling.  So, we bundled Kylie up for her first snow experience.  I think Matt & I were eager with anticipation to bring her out there.  We had visions of snowmen and snowball fights...  but when we got outside, and as I started out into the snow, I heard Kylie's little voice say "No, Mommy!  Come back here!"  She wouldn't budge from the deck.  She said she was scared.  And who could blame her?  The stuff came up to her waist!  She couldn't move her legs!  I'd be pretty scared, too!  So, what did I do?  I plopped her right in the middle of it.  Daddy came next to her and so did Teddy.  We all started playing with the snow and making snowballs.  The snow was a bit to light and fluffy for snowmen, but Kylie found another way to enjoy the snow.

Matt valiantly took on the task of shoveling... and Kylie used her beach shovel to "help."

She eventually got comfortable enough with the snow that she found herself a nice little seat in the snow and cheered on her Daddy while he made a path from our door.

Sure, we didn't stay outside too long -- Kylie was soon pulling off her mittens and her hat kept coming off -- but it was enough to see the joy and excitement in Kylie's eyes.  And in the end, that's what it's all about... having fun.  Together.

Yesterday was good, but Today is even better

You know, there are times that I find myself in a daydream of yesterday's carefree days, only to be snapped out of it by Kylie calling saying something like "Mommy - more milk, please."  But tonight, I was reminded why those days of yesterday were good, but Today is even better. 

Last night we decorated the Christmas tree... the very first time we did so with Kylie's help.  She was so excited as we pulled out the special box that held the Christmas ornaments.  My mother would give us an ornament every year as we were growing up (a fabulous tradition that we've begun for Kylie).  Kylie's eyes were wide as she chose ever so carefully each ornament she wanted to hang on the tree.  I think one branch ended up with 4 or 5 ornaments, but let's just say the bottom part of our tree was very well decorated indeed.  I think it was the most fun we've had decorating the tree in years!  The "magic" is back in the holidays!

In Thanksgiving...

Sometimes amidst the hustle and bustle of going here and there, it’s easy to get caught up in the stress of traffic and lose sight of where it is you’re going and why. 

It was “my family’s turn” for Thanksgiving this year.  So, Tuesday night, we packed up the car, Kylie and our dog Teddy.  We prefer to travel by cover of darkness.  Kylie sleeps most of the way, and traffic is usually light.  Well, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving is the new Wednesday for travel.  Lots of travelers, even after midnight, turning our usual 4 hour trip into a tiring 5 ½ hours.  But we were glad the following morning when we woke up and had a day of rest and just visiting with family and friends.

Thanksgiving morning, my husband and I took Kylie to church.  Kylie was so well-behaved and enjoyed the singing.  It was in that moment that I looked at my family and thought “This is what I’m thankful for.”   After church, we all filled up 3 cars of people and drove over to Grandma’s house.  Another car ride, but we didn’t mind so much.  We were focused on the fun of being together. 

Friday was back in the car to go back to my parents’ house.  My sister Carin, her husband and their 2 month old baby came over.  It was a bit surreal to see my younger sister with a baby, but it was awesome.  Everyone wanted to hold the baby, especially me.  And Kylie even got to hold him!  Precious moments.

Saturday we celebrated my father’s 60^th birthday.  I thought, “What better way to celebrate than to have all your kids home, enjoying each others’ company… laughter in every room.”

Saturday night we traveled back to our own home, eager to sleep in our own beds, once again sharing the road with many, many other weary travelers.  And we found ourselves once again thinking “Ugh.  Never again are we traveling for a holiday.”

But now, comfortably back home, looking through the pictures from the weekend, I’m reminded of why every year we do “go home” for one holiday or another.  Because the memories and time with family are worth it.

We've Come a Long Way, Baby...

It's true what "they" say...  it goes by in the blink of an eye.  I can't believe that Kylie is two years old. 
The thing I love about birthdays is it's a great time for reflection.  As I look at my little girl, I am amazed at all she's accomplished in her short two years of life.  And for that matter, us, too! 
 Right from the start, we were challenged by breastfeeding.  But we stuck to it, and worked through it. 
We decided to co-sleep and had lots of nay-sayers tell us what a terrible precedent we were setting.  But Kylie sleeps fantastically in her own bed, and she knows that if she calls, she can trust that we will be there to comfort her. 
We thought it would be best for our family for me not to return to my traditional 9 to 5, and instead stay home to raise our daughter and pursue my career as a life coach.  It was the best decision we've ever made.
Kylie is thriving, smart, funny, a talented singer & dancer, playful...

Why do I mention all this?  Because I know there are parents out there who are having a tough go of it, and wondering if things will ever get better....  I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  And all your efforts and love will show up in the wonderful little child you present to the world each day.

Family Vacation

July 4. Independence Day. And Matt, Kylie & I are off to Cancun, Mexico. Kylie's first flight. For 20 months, we have dreaded this moment - taking Kylie on a plane. But I have to say, Kylie did amazingly well. Maybe it's a good thing we waited so long because she was easily entertained and even napped for half the flight! And so now we feel free... free to explore the country, the world even!

My family joined us for this vacation in Cancun. Well, all except Carin & Dan (Carin's pregnant and well, 90+ heat doesn't exactly mean comfort to a pregnant lady), and Allison & Joe (Joe's in training for deployment at the end of July and Allison wanted to be around for his weekend off). But, Mom, Dad, Jen, Kat & Erik, and Em were all there.

Let me just say, vacationing with a little one is SO different from vacationing without. Not bad. Just different. In fact, it was even better. I loved watching Kylie bond with my family. She listened to their ipods and tried to sing along. We all took turns swimming with Kylie in the pool, which she LOVED! And my youngest sister Emily was a huge help a few of the days by taking Kylie back to the room for her nap. Plus, they watched Kylie one night so that Matt & I could have a nice date at the restaurant on site. But truly, the best part was just witnessing the closeness that Kylie was developing with my family. She ran to them for hugs. Called out their names. Loudly. Even in restaurants. ;-) But we all loved it.

I didn't mind that I didn't get to read my book. I didn't even care that we didn't venture out for snorkeling or wave running. I just wanted to soak in the experience. All of it. "til my fingers got all pruny."

Flash Forward 20 years or so...

My sister Allison -- she's #5 of the 6 of us daughters -- got married May 29, 2009 to the love of her life, Sergeant Joe Vargas. It was a beautiful ceremony on the beach. Just the immediate families. And you could see how much in the love they were and so happy for this day.

Watching my father on this happy occasion, I was suddenly acutely aware of what it is to be a parent, and the bittersweet moment this must be. My parents know that Joe will always take care of Allison. And they love each other so much. But it also catches you a bit in your throat, thinking that your little girl is grown up.

Kylie provided the perfect juxtaposition to this moment. She loved being at the beach. I watched her and Matt run around in the sand. Laughing. Kylie would run to me and scooped her up. Just 20 months old. Small enough to hold, and life is just fun.

Kylie was holding Allison's flowers during the ceremony. I saw her holding those flowers and looking at Matt, and I couldn't help but tear up. There in the background, my sister was exchanging vows with Joe. And I was seeing the image that I know I will recall years from now as Matt and I stand by Kylie at her own wedding.

Sit & Play

With kids, everything is fun. Everything is a game.

Kylie, now 19 mos (where's the time gone?!), loves games. Hide and seek is a favorite. She's a fantastic seeker and gets very excited when she finds me... even if I only hid around the corner. She's not so good at hiding. I cover my eyes, count to 10 and she's literally still standing right in front of me or right behind me. And yet, like a good Mommy, I still pretend that she's not right there and continue to search all the other hiding spots before I realize that she's walking right behind me the whole time!

Lately, though, Kylie loves to discover new and interesting places to sit. She has places to sit - like her little rocking chair. But she likes to take all the diapers out of this little basket, and then sits there. She laughs her little head off for a while, but soon realizes she's stuck and can't get herself out. "Momma!" We have another little chuckle and I hoist her out of the basket.

I have to admit, I would never think to sit in a basket. But it's amazing to me the things that children will come up with, and just play! Somewhere in growing up, I feel like we lose that wonder and fun. Time to time I still see glimmers of that with me & my husband as we play with Kylie. Almost like we're saying "oh yeah! I remember..."

Coppertone Baby

Just had to post this. Maybe the Coppertone people need a new model? :-) The only thing missing from the picture, well, besides the beach, oh and the bathing suit, is our dog Teddy pulling on Kylie's pants. Ok. So it's really just the pose that says "coppertone."

Me Time

As a new mom, especially in the first year, the concept of “me time” pretty much escaped me. Not for lack of trying, it’s just how it was. Me time, for most of the first year, was Mon-Fri getting a shower before Matt went to work. A stress-free shower. Amazing how simple hygiene suddenly became a 15-minute oasis of peace.

But, as I’ve mentioned before, I decided to embrace the things that I couldn’t change because it just took more energy to fight than to accept. And I found that when I accepted that “me time” might not be the same as it was before Kylie was born, I found other ways that I could have time for myself.

Kylie’s naps, to which I was also bound as a co-sleeper, became my time, too. While Kylie napped, I read lots of books. I could catch up on TV programs that I enjoyed. (thank goodness for DVR! It has changed the way we watch TV – no longer at the mercy of the TV schedulers.) I could write in my journal. I could meditate. Or, I could nap.

And now that Kylie is older, Matt and I have found more ways to give each other “me time”. It’s just as important for Matt to have time to himself. We worked together to come up with time when he’ll watch Kylie so that I can go to the gym, do my coaching, or do my other work. He has designated time, too, to do things that make him feel a bit better and taken care of.

If you’re a new mom wondering how to find time for herself, I challenge you to get creative and try taking a different perspective, like I did with Kylie’s napping. But it is so important to have that time to focus on yourself so that you don’t feel like you are disappearing and exist only as mom. Nurture yourself, as well as your little one.

Language Arts (17 months)

At 17 months, Kylie has a vocabulary of maybe 20 words or so? Now, when I say “vocabulary,” I mean words that someone who doesn’t know Kylie might not understand. But Da-Da and I know. “Kha-ka” means “cracker”. “Please” sounds an awful lot like a Roger Rabbit impression “prrrease”. “Be-auw” is “bear” for our dog Teddy Bear. “Ba-ba” until a couple weeks ago was actually me – mama. (I’ve since graduated to Ma-ma, and I can’t get enough of hearing it. I get so excited that Kylie just goes on and on… Ma-ma! Ma-Ma? Ma-ma! And most recently, “O-e-o-e-oooo” has taken on a new meaning…. Prior to Christmas (Kylie was 14 months), it meant “Cinderella.” She LOVES that book. After Christmas and meeting my sister’s American bulldog Zoe, it also means “Zoe.” We all thought it was very funny that the bulldog and Cinderella shared the same name. Well, now, “O-e-o-e-ooo” has a 3rd meaning – “I love you.” Awwwwww….. Seriously. Isn’t being a 17 month old, amazing?! To have one word that means different things…

It reminds me of something I heard once about the Eskimos having like a hundred different uses for the word snow, or maybe it was a hundred different words for snow, but the idea was that it was because snow was so important to their culture. So, if I go with that idea, does that mean that Cinderella, Zoe and I love you, mean so much to Kylie that she uses one word to cover them?

Battle of the Zzzzs... (16 months)

I like my sleep. (who doesn’t?!) I’m a worrier. (natural for a new mom, right?) And I love to snuggle. So, for the convenience, peace of mind, and just sheer joy of it, for the first 10 months of Kylie’s life, we co-slept. And it was beautiful.


Around 10 months, though, co-sleeping began to become, well, less than enjoyable. Kylie moved around a lot, and I think she kept waking through the night out of habit from night nursing. She always needed help falling back asleep. Sometimes, I would have to get up and walk her around. None of us were getting any quality sleep.


As Dr. Sears says, “If you resent it, change it.” (Dr. Sears is my go-to resource because his parenting style resonates so deeply with my own.) We tried introducing Kylie to her crib. But really, if you’re a little baby, (heck – even an adult) wouldn’t you rather be snuggled next to a warm body rather than sleep in a big, lonely crib? But we were starting to crave some nighttime independence and thought Kylie would sleep better, too, if she didn’t have the milk maid sleeping next to her. And eventually, we were able to get Kylie to sleep the first 2 or 3 hours in her crib. But when she woke, she’d refuse to go back in her crib. So, in order to help my husband get some quality sleep, Kylie & I began to take over the guest bed and let Da-Da have our bed. Although Kylie continued to wake a couple times through the night, it didn’t bother me as much since I had the luxury of taking a nap with Kylie during the day -- one luxury that I indulged at most every opportunity. And since Kylie also wouldn’t nap in her crib, it was almost necessary anyway. Rather than fight it, I chose to embrace it and consider it forced down time and some good snuggle time with my sweet baby. As my own mom says, “Treasure these moments. All too soon she’ll be grown up and nap times together will be a thing of the past.” (I love the way my mom raised us and I hope to do as good a job with Kylie)


A quick note here about my parenting philosophy, because I think a lot of moms and others will think that Kylie was manipulating us or that we shouldn’t have given in to her sleeping whims. Well, I say “you can’t spoil a child with love.” And if Kylie’s crying at night was indeed an attempt to get Mommy or Daddy’s attention, well, then she obviously needed it. For whatever reason. And my job is to make sure she knows that she is heard and that Mommy or Daddy will always respond to her needs. This will help her be a more trusting and open individual, and know that she will always be loved and safe.


Well, right around 16 months, in a coaching session with my own life coach, I was voicing some frustration at having such low energy and not enough to put into my business or even anything more than just taking care of Kylie. Anything else was just too much. But I so badly wanted my own coaching practice to start taking off… and my coach asked me what I need – sleep! And she said, do you know how you can get it? Yes! There was a loving method of helping Kylie learn to sleep in her crib, she would know Mommy and Daddy are always there, and she would learn to fall back to sleep on her own with that comfort. All it would require was about a week of sleeping on the floor of her room. And when my coach asked if one week of discomfort would be worth a lifetime of good sleep habits for Kylie, accomplished in a loving and supportive environment – I couldn’t help but feel excited and encouraged to get started.


My husband was a champ – he’s always been involved with everything in raising Kylie. He jumped right in there and took the weekend shift. And we did it! For a week, we were uncomfortable, and sleep deprived, but no more than usual. And Kylie would wake and immediately hear our voice saying “shhhh. It’s ok. We’re here. It’s sleepy-time. We’ll see you in the morning.” Sometimes she would fuss and we’d pick her up for a few minutes, but we’d lay her back down when she stopped. It gave her the message that we’re here to help when you need it. And by the end of the week, our little angel was sleeping through the night! That’s right! She now goes to bed around 8:30 pm and doesn’t wake us until around 6 am! At that point, I don’t mind pulling her into bed for that last hour for a little snuggle. We both enjoy it. And we all wake up happy and refreshed!!!


We knew it would come to that week of working through it with Kylie, but if it hadn’t been for my coaching session, it could’ve happened weeks, maybe even months later. Thanks to coaching, we were motivated and encouraged to make it happen (for all of us) sooner and for the better.


OH! And the best news? This great new sleep trend has Kylie taking naps in her crib now, too!!!!

Hi, there. I'm Mom.

Wow. For 9 months, I would talk to my baby. (we didn't know whether we were having a boy or girl, so we affectionately called the baby "Bean" because she looked like a jelly bean in her 12 week ultrasound) I'd tell the Bean, "Mama loves you." And "I'm Mom." And we'd spend a lot of time daydreaming about what it would be like when the Bean finally "sprouted". (horrible pun, I know).

October 1, 2007, my husband Matt and I welcomed our beautiful Kylie into the world. And though I had said the words before, now to hold her, see her, and say "Hi there. I'm Mom." It was a moment like no other. The love, the connection, the overwhelming responsibilty, that came with those words was just so wonderful, words will never be able to truly capture that special moment.

I've looked forward to being a mom all my life. I'm the eldest of 6 girls. That's right - 6. I truly admire the way my parents raised us. Dad worked hard to provide for his growing family. Mom stayed home with us. We were well taken care of, but best of all, there was lots of love in the house. I hope to provide Kylie the same loving memories of her own childhood.